About
The quiz where no one goes first
Every couple has things they have never said out loud. Not because the desire isn’t there, but because someone has to go first, and going first is a risk. Say it and get a no, and the moment hangs in the air forever.
Only If You Do removes the going first. You each answer the same set of questions privately, from yes through to a firm no, and what comes back is what youboth said yes or maybe to, alongside anything one of you is open to talking about. A yes your partner marked as a firm no is never revealed. It isn’t shown, hinted at, counted in a way that gives it away, or stored past your session. It simply stays yours.
That single rule shapes everything about how the product is built. Your answers live on our servers only long enough to compute your mutual matches, and the whole session hard-deletes 30 days after it begins. There are no accounts, nicknames are fine, and the one thing we ask for (an email address each) exists solely to deliver your report and deletes with everything else.
What you get
- Free: your mutual matches on screen, split into the things you both said yes to and the things you’re both curious about, plus anything you both independently marked as a boundary. Where something has a giving and a receiving side, we tell you which way round it works.
- Optional ($10): a report delivered to both of you by email, in two versions. A designed PDF to read or print, and an interactive version you open in a browser, where you can filter your matches, see what each of you would be leading on, build a plan together, and put a date night in order. Both carry a roadmap ordered by readiness, conversation openers for every shared maybe, practical guidance, and how you compare to other couples, drawn from aggregate data only. The interactive version works with no internet connection, and our copy deletes with everything else after 30 days.
- Return code: every report includes a code worth $5 repeat reports for 14 months, so you can retake later and see what changed.
Who it’s for
Adults, 18 and over, in couples of every configuration. The questionnaire adapts to who you each are: your names, your bodies, and how you describe yourselves shape the questions you see, so every question reads correctly for the two of you specifically. You choose the pace, from gentle to everything, and which topics are on the table before either of you answers a single question.
Ready when you both are. Start together, or read the FAQs first.