FAQs
Questions couples actually ask
How does the matching work?
You each answer privately with yes, maybe, rather not, or a firm no. Once both of you finish, the server reveals only shared yeses and maybes and boundaries you both marked. For giving and receiving questions, the matching compares the corresponding roles. No unmatched item or individual answer is disclosed.
What do the four answers mean?
Yes means you would be up for it. Maybe means you are open to it or curious. Both can match a yes or maybe from your partner. Rather not means you would prefer not to, and stays private. This is a No marks a firm boundary; it is only shown if you both independently marked the same boundary.
Why does my report name which one of us does what?
Because that is the only way round it works. Plenty of things have a giving side and a receiving side, and we ask you about each separately. If one of you said yes to doing it and the other said yes to receiving it, that is a real match, and the report says which of you is which. If you both said yes to both sides, it is marked as working both ways. We would rather tell you exactly what you agreed to than leave you guessing who meant what.
What happens when our answers differ?
An item that does not match stays private. It is not named in results, reports, emails or analytics, and it is not sent to a model. You can choose to discuss preferences with your partner yourself; the service does not reveal them for you.
Do we ever find out what we both said no to?
Only boundaries you both independently selected are shared. A boundary only one person selected remains private, regardless of the other answers.
Can my partner see my answers?
Your partner sees your shared yeses and maybes and boundaries you both selected, after you have both finished. They cannot see your individual answer sheet, unmatched answers or unmatched notes.
Is it free?
Seeing your mutual matches on screen is free. The full report is an optional one-time purchase of $10 US, or $5 US with a return code from a previous report. There are no subscriptions and no recurring charges.
How do we take it together?
One of you starts and answers first, then either sends the other a private link or simply hands over the same device. The second person gets a completely fresh screen: nothing the first person answered is visible. Results appear only after you have both finished.
Is it anonymous?
There are no accounts. You each provide a nickname and email for report delivery. Session access expires after 30 days and session answers, contact details and report files are scheduled for deletion. Purchase records and anonymous aggregate counts are retained as described in our privacy policy.
What questions will we be asked?
The bank covers eight topics: the basics, toys, B.D.S.M., anal, public, group, roleplay, and other. You choose which topics are on and how adventurous the set runs before anyone answers, and the basics are always included. Questions adapt to who you each are, so every question reads correctly for your specific couple.
What is in the paid report?
The paid report includes a PDF and an interactive file with your mutual matches, a plan, conversation openers for shared maybes and aggregate comparisons. Report emails are requested for both partners; the status page distinguishes preparation from email-provider acceptance. The interactive report also downloads from your results page and works offline. Session access ends after 30 days; copies you have downloaded or received remain yours.
See a sample reportWhat is a return code?
A purchased report includes a private return code for US$5 repeat reports for 14 months. New secure codes can also retrieve the previous mutual-match comparison. Anyone holding the code can use those capabilities, so keep it private. Older three-word codes grant a discount only, without access to previous results.
What if we match on very little?
That is a valid result. You can retake with a different pace or more topics if you both want to, with no pressure to change an answer.
What happens to our data?
Session access ends 30 days after it begins. Session answers, notes, matches, contact details and stored reports are scheduled for automatic deletion. Payment records, hashed return-code records, mutual-match fingerprints and aggregate counts persist as explained in our privacy policy. Files already downloaded or emailed remain with their recipients.
Do you sell data or show ads?
No. We sell reports for $10. There are no ads, no data sales, and no marketing use of anything you answer.
What shows up on my card statement?
ONLYIFYOUDO.COM. Payment is handled by Stripe on their secure checkout page; your card details never touch our servers.
Something else on your mind? Contact us, or read the privacy policy in full.